Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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