I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
