im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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