plz talk dirty to me
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
