Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
