all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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