you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Floor bacon is actually really good
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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