can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
