glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
