YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
