I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
