Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
