She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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