I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs