I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
