my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I can't turn off my feet"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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