So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
