i think my mom watched the whole time
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
