Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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