wakey wakey hands off snakey
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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