:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
