careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
