Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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