Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize