dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
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my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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