i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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