So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
