can u get pink eye on your cock?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
