Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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