Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
