hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
