Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
