I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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