Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
