Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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