what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize