Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
