Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
