Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize