so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
