I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Boobs are out for the taking
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
