I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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