bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
