He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
