you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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