Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize