There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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