He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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