He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
