If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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