it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
