this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
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He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
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He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship