So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
