last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out