Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him

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  (617): OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him http://tfl.nu/b4mt
  Replies (11) Good night (918) Bad night (979)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub

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  (503): you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub http://tfl.nu/rmdg
  Replies (10) Good night (776) Bad night (5825)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.

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  (214): Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again. http://tfl.nu/1vav
  Replies (12) Good night (4478) Bad night (580)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.

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  (814): I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone. http://tfl.nu/qodf
  Replies (2) Good night (2268) Bad night (928)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed

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  (301): Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed http://tfl.nu/1voz
  Replies (8) Good night (1123) Bad night (4741)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.

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  (570): I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison. http://tfl.nu/ax4a
  Replies (13) Good night (2562) Bad night (1516)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.

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  (407): Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills. http://tfl.nu/wclx
  Replies (9) Good night (1574) Bad night (2115)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"

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  (216): I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely" http://tfl.nu/sd7p
  Replies (27) Good night (1399) Bad night (3602)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.

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  (615): Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often. http://tfl.nu/4yb3
  Replies (9) Good night (2683) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.

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  (956): I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her. http://tfl.nu/jxh9
  Replies (5) Good night (1212) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Cops are just so fun an beautifuk

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  (303): Cops are just so fun an beautifuk http://tfl.nu/p8be
  Replies (2) Good night (738) Bad night (489)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder

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  (503): Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder http://tfl.nu/i6jl
  Replies (8) Good night (956) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.

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  (720): I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks. http://tfl.nu/u2av
  Replies (3) Good night (671) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.

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  (612): I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin. http://tfl.nu/dn4i
  Replies (1) Good night (329) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday

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  (516): I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday http://tfl.nu/1b3a
  Replies (1) Good night (387) Bad night (224)

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