i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.