Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
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I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
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i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.