Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.