Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?

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(812): can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex? http://tfl.nu/5ngg

Replies (10) Good night (3253) Bad night (658)
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(613): View more from Ontario

There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.

(613): View more from Ontario

This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?

(613): View more from Ontario

Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.

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(613): There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared. (613): This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea? (613): Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win. http://tfl.nu/1a5o

Replies (13) Good night (2867) Bad night (524)
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(512): View more from Texas

So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married

(214): View more from Texas

What? They have three kids?

(512): View more from Texas

Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me

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(512): So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married (214): What? They have three kids? (512): Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me http://tfl.nu/93bk

Replies (20) Good night (880) Bad night (6088)
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(906): View more from Michigan

The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.

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(906): The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock. http://tfl.nu/nnn9

Replies (6) Good night (788) Bad night (3537)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.

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(204): Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this. http://tfl.nu/p44k

Replies (24) Good night (1075) Bad night (4917)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Umm you met him three days ago....

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I said what I said

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(267): We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for (215): Umm you met him three days ago.... (267): I said what I said http://tfl.nu/18h0

Replies (30) Good night (7509) Bad night (1604)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.

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(570): I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless. http://tfl.nu/rrlk

Replies (6) Good night (3907) Bad night (706)
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(679): View more from Michigan

You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.

(679): View more from Michigan

You really are best friends.

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(679): You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road. (679): You really are best friends. http://tfl.nu/zi1s

Replies (20) Good night (6554) Bad night (1193)
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(718): View more from New York

He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.

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(718): He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter. http://tfl.nu/o453

Replies (16) Good night (6860) Bad night (1048)
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(+64): View more from New Zealand

If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine

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(+64): If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine http://tfl.nu/9dun

Replies (6) Good night (2787) Bad night (1406)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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(609): I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything http://tfl.nu/1m1m

Replies (11) Good night (2064) Bad night (592)
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(618): View more from Illinois

She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed

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(618): She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed http://tfl.nu/19hm

Replies (9) Good night (1015) Bad night (1398)
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(914): View more from New York

Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.

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(914): Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way. http://tfl.nu/0tc3

Replies (1) Good night (1181) Bad night (626)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises

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(416): I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises http://tfl.nu/8bqz

Replies (14) Good night (671) Bad night (1419)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.

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(404): Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now. http://tfl.nu/qdkd

Replies (20) Good night (1146) Bad night (527)

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