She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.