I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I think i got beer on your cat.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize