I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
