how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
a search helicopter?!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
