and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize