weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
