If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize