I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
