as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
