I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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