So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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