guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
