when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
