4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
