whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
