Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
