I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
